Sunday, September 16, 2007
| Five times the sun.... Sylvan will have completed five times around the sun this Thursday. In the past we have gone camping on or near his birthday weekend. This year I am feeling less than grounded in my life and do not want to pack up the car and adventure over to the coast. The camping celebration alleviated many bothersome societal pressures around childrens' birthdays. I am not keen on the idea of inviting every kid aquaintance Sylvan has over to my home, feed them loads of sugar, and then force them to sit and watch him open a tower of gifts. Thankfully in our circle of friends this is not the norm, but we have been invited to a few of the other kinds of parties. Bounce houses, themes, gift bags, hundreds of dollars spent on a four year olds birthday party. More power to them if that is what a parent chooses, but it is not for me. With these thoughts running through my head I am noticing a feeling arise in myself. As my little catch phrase up on the top of my profile suggests I try to pay attention to my attention. And right now I am watching my attention around Sylvan's birthday shift to this thought of inadequacy. AM I DOING ENOUGH?? Is he getting shafted. Does he need MORE? Here is his birthday plan: The day before his birthday I want Sylvan and Talia to help make me a carrot cake which is Sylvan's favorite. After the kids go to bed, Q and I are going to take the cake and shape it and frost it into a cat. This is what Sylvan has requested. Wednesday evening Q and I are also going to set up a terrarium for a gecko as that is what we have decided to get Sylvan for his birthday. I scored a whole terrarium/gecko set up off of craigslist. The night before his birthday I will tell him his birth story in a special and reverant way. Candles, cuddles, lotsa love.... Thursday is a school day and Miss Sonny will do a very sweet Waldorf-y birthday celebration. I have given her 2-3 sweet or memorable things that Sylvan experienced each year on this earth. She will take those details and create a loving story about Sylvan coming down the rainbow bridge and experiencing life as an earthly being. It is tear-jerkingly sweet to the adults and deeply powerful to a child. ( I have created these stories myself and seen the said results.) Miss Sonny will have a hand-made gift for Sylvan presented to him in a beautiful and reverant way. For snack the children will sing him Happy Birthday and everyone will have had the opportunity to help make the cake they will share. Q is taking the day off from work and after school we are going to go and pick out a gecko and then it is Sylvan's choice for what he wants to do. He will probably choose the zoo or fairytale town or funderland which are all walking/biking distance from our house. Kitty-cat cake and his favorite dinner of burritos at Ernestos will be in the mix as well. He will have a few other gifts from friends and family, one of which is a remote control airplane. To me this sounds like an uber outstanding day. It sounds so much more appealing to me than the big chaotic birthday blow-out of bounce houses and extreme sugar, towers of toys encased in pounds of packaging that is mostly not recycleable. The toys themselves made in China possibly off-gassing serious chemicals or who knows what. Maybe the toys make it a week before breaking in some way, depending on the nature of the toy itself. And still this feeling of not doing enough, though now that I have written about that particular feeling it has dissipated somewhat. Ahhh that is why I write.... BUT if anyone reads this in the next few days and has an opinion let me know...it helps me. G |
contemplative 
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