Monday, June 25, 2007
| Thirty something... I am now well into my 30's. I am sure someone considers me "middle-aged." I, myself, certainly don't. I recall reading articles, magazines, books etc or hearing about a 32 year old woman or man and it often brought up a picture of nothing-ness in my mind. Dullsville. Boring. Some bland person working some cubicle-answering-phones-job who shuffles along from home to work without looking up. Schlepping a TV dinner to her brats, who only shut up when they are in front of the TV. I am happy to report that I am nowhere near that strange, sad, horrible stereotype I held of 30 somethings when I was "younger." I don't really have a clear picture of who I have become. I am constantly striving and seeking my truth. One day it is this and one day it is something else. There is sooooo much to do, see and learn in this world that when I think about it I can become overwhelmed. I still flit from place to place, friend to friend, impression to impression. SOME THINGS I HAVE LEARNED: I have found that I can not carry on worthy conversations if loud music is happening. I have unlocked anger in myself that I never knew was there and MY children were the key. I have found many, many ways to say I am sorry. I have found that I am dreadfully afraid of commitment. Following through with certain things and projects can be quite challenging for me at times. I have discovered that I want a horse. I feel a desire to carve out the space and time to express myself creatively. I have come to know that my friends who were once the most important people to me in the world still are. I love my mom more and more everyday. I am so glad I quit smoking cigs... Children will change you in ways that are absolutely ineffable to you while child free. Love relationships are the most challenging, gut-wrenching, truth-revealing, emotional roller coaster ride one can take. Music is love. Music is joy. Music is healing. Music should be in every single school everyday.
gk |
contemplative 
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